yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
