Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
