How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
