Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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