Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
