he thought i was a dude.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
