You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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