Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
