i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
