Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the day after is always just damage control
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
