were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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