This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
