Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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