Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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