Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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