I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
