You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
