How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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