I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
