love makes seman taste better
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
