1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
