We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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