Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
