four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Never underestimate the power of titties
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
