There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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