Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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