Where are you?
In a non slutty way
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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