is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
