You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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