as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize