I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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