i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
