This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
