My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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