i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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