Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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