Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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