I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
