i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
