And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
