I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
