I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
