Do you still have your period?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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