Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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