i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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