you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
