i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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