dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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