We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
