i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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