Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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