Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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