Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.