I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"