Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women

Fav 11 949 2051
share tweet
(573): View more from Missouri

i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru

Fav 22 1158 3788
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.

Fav 33 2707 1749
share tweet
(254): View more from Texas

oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.

Fav 26 1005 3918
share tweet
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(865): View more from Tennessee

Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.

Fav 10 907 3375
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time

Fav 15 4457 1503
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.

Fav 8 2558 2076
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed

Fav 2 1142 643
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(551): View more from New Jersey

Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack

Fav 1 20 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT