Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?

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  (816): dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink? http://tfl.nu/aysx
  Replies (2) Good night (645) Bad night (1016)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.

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  (252): He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm. http://tfl.nu/eaqz
  Replies (58) Good night (2295) Bad night (6232)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We need to rekindle our bromance

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  (512): We need to rekindle our bromance http://tfl.nu/aprz
  Replies (48) Good night (8722) Bad night (1448)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.

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  (952): he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does. http://tfl.nu/uw0a
  Replies (28) Good night (5266) Bad night (728)
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  (716): View more from New York

  angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up

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  (716): angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up http://tfl.nu/mr2g
  Replies (26) Good night (4518) Bad night (819)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me

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  (256): He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me http://tfl.nu/nz3h
  Replies (11) Good night (700) Bad night (5348)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro

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  (678): The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro http://tfl.nu/6idu
  Replies (13) Good night (3739) Bad night (1156)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks

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  (416): thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks http://tfl.nu/k1ka
  Replies (4) Good night (1155) Bad night (2075)
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  (661): View more from California

  Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil

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  (661): Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil http://tfl.nu/8mk8
  Replies (10) Good night (1851) Bad night (1244)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party

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  (574): There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party http://tfl.nu/2g1j
  Replies (5) Good night (2447) Bad night (696)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Houston, we have a squirter

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  (704): Houston, we have a squirter http://tfl.nu/27k8
  Replies (25) Good night (6624) Bad night (1469)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.

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  (705): Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table. http://tfl.nu/x7xh
  Replies (3) Good night (1800) Bad night (804)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success

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  (505): Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success http://tfl.nu/y0qf
  Replies (0) Good night (1119) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him

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  (425): When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him http://tfl.nu/g8jv
  Replies (4) Good night (508) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar

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  (727): One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar http://tfl.nu/bkjj
  Replies (3) Good night (551) Bad night (300)

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