So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
