Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet

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  (781): Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet http://tfl.nu/haby
  Replies (4) Good night (554) Bad night (2692)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it

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  (954): i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it http://tfl.nu/cllt
  Replies (28) Good night (658) Bad night (5531)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.

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  (915): You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there. http://tfl.nu/fu8g
  Replies (13) Good night (4322) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.

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  (301): If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich. http://tfl.nu/u48k
  Replies (6) Good night (2836) Bad night (943)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.

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  (646): Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout. http://tfl.nu/vj0i
  Replies (6) Good night (4068) Bad night (719)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.

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  (403): I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway. http://tfl.nu/xqv3
  Replies (8) Good night (1262) Bad night (3450)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet

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  (707): I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet http://tfl.nu/0aqf
  Replies (10) Good night (1689) Bad night (3420)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.

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  (778): I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina. http://tfl.nu/znuq
  Replies (18) Good night (4366) Bad night (768)
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  (415): View more from California

  Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!

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  (415): Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM! http://tfl.nu/lg7j
  Replies (5) Good night (624) Bad night (2134)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face

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  (248): Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face http://tfl.nu/s7dy
  Replies (12) Good night (633) Bad night (1913)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?

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  (902): Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having? http://tfl.nu/d7ao
  Replies (36) Good night (547) Bad night (6460)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin

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  (765): It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin http://tfl.nu/0j6s
  Replies (3) Good night (843) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner

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  (954): and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner http://tfl.nu/ab93
  Replies (15) Good night (1307) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  He should be castrated

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons

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  (778): He should be castrated (604): Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons http://tfl.nu/5v9r
  Replies (7) Good night (516) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected

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  (518): It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected http://tfl.nu/wv1f
  Replies (0) Good night (348) Bad night (188)

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