is your mom at the bar?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
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I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
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Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.