Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
