i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
