I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
