The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
