He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...