Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
